In a divorce case, it is important to arrange the custody of children. It is important for both parties to not presume that the woman will always get custody. Instead, judges determine which party will provide the best environment for the children. If parents have already agreed who gets custody, the judge will take this into consideration as well. If parents are not in agreement, however, and one is tying to achieve sole or primary custody, the battle can become long and hard. One of the most important factors for the judge in these cases is trust.
The judge will look at whether the parents are to be trusted with the care of a child. They want to make sure that the lifestyle of parents, both mentally and physically, is stable enough for a child. This element is hugely important in families with more than one child. What is also important is the level of involvement of each parent in the life of the child(ren), particularly in things such as school work, religion, various activities and school. Judges also regularly speak to the child and ask what their own preference is and why, particularly if they are old enough to voice that. As you can see, trust in your ability as a parent really is the most important thing to work towards. There are also some situations that will significantly lower your chances of getting custody. If you have tried to stop contact between you children and their other parent, if you perpetrated domestic violence or if you are involved in taking drugs or alcohol, it is unlikely that you will gain custody of your children.
Two things in particularly are important in terms of winning a custody battle. Firstly, you need to be able to get the judge’s attention. You must understand that judges hear arguing couples all day, every day, so they need to hear something different from you in order to grab their attention. You also have to make sure that whatever it is you want to bring to the court that is different should be something tangible, and not just some sort of feeling. The other thing that will work in your favor is finding other people who will attest to you being a great parent. Without this, it is just the mother’s word against the father’s word, and they will each say that they are great parents, whereas the other isn’t. Try, if you can, to make sure that these witnesses are independent, such as pastors, teachers or even shop owners, rather than bringing in your best friend or family member.